


Break Down

by Wolf_Stevens



Series: Beaten Swan [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Other, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-06-08 23:58:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6880828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolf_Stevens/pseuds/Wolf_Stevens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to That Don't Sound Like You. TW: Abuse, Rape, Attempted Suicide. Regina and Henry finally have Emma safe at home, but the Savior's problems are only beginning. Will Regina's love be able to save her, or is Emma too damaged by Hook? SQ endgame</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Okay, here you are my lovely followers and reviewers. The much-asked for sequel to That Don't Sound Like You. The way I'm going to have this is that odd chapters are going to be from Emma's point and even chapters are going to be from Regina's. I wanted to give both sides of the coin light, and this is the best way that I could work it. I hope you all enjoy this as it comes along. If you have an idea of something you think our ladies should be experiencing in an upcoming chapter, feel free to leave it in a review or pm me and I'll see if I can work it in.
> 
> I don't own OUAT or its characters, and all of that legal mumbo jumbo. Enjoy!

It had been nearly a week since Regina had brought Emma home from New York. During that week Emma had kept herself holed up in the bedroom. _Regina's bedroom_ , Emma reminded herself. Regina constantly insisted that it wasn't her bedroom anymore, that it was theirs, but Emma felt as if she were trespassing. She felt guilty that she woke Regina up every night because of her nightmares. She hadn't felt this low since she had been in the foster system.

All she wanted all her life was a family to love her, but because of everything that happened in the past year and a half she now felt unworthy of the unwavering devotion Regina and Henry showed her.

_"They never wanted to follow you to the Underworld, Swan," Killian said. "That was your first mistake." His fist caught her unprepared in the gut, causing her to keel over._

_"Killian," she gasped through the pain, shocked that he would strike her._

_"You're selfish, Swan," he spat. "Nothing more than a pretty blonde head filled with thoughts of 'me, me, me'." He punched her again as she started to regain her composure, sending her sprawling on the floor of their dingy apartment. "It's about time you think of someone other than yourself now, Swan."_

Emma wiped the tears that she didn't realize she was shedding at the memory, snorting to herself how she was so stupid not to see him turning like that. He had been all sweet and caring when he offered to go with her to heal her guilt outside of Storybrooke, even going to the point of "finding" them an apartment while they bounced from hotel to hotel.

"Emma?" Regina's voice carried from the doorway, but Emma didn't respond. The brunette came into the room and set down a mug and a plate containing a sandwich on the nightstand on Emma's side of the bed. "Did you have another nightmare?" Regina asked as she knelt down in front of Emma, brushing her hair off her face. Emma barely glanced into worried chocolate eyes before closing her own faded emerald eyes and turning into the pillow. She heard Regina sigh. "You're not alone anymore Emma," Regina gently reminded her before Emma felt her place a kiss on her temple. "I'm here for you when you are ready, my dear." Emma listened to the retreating footsteps as Regina left the bedroom to go back downstairs.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Emma asked quietly out loud when she knew Regina wouldn't hear her. "I don't deserve it." The tears started coming faster as she let her guilt eat at her. The guilt that they had all came to the Underworld with her, the guilt that Robin died, that Zelena's baby would never know her father and Regina was unhappy now.

_"You're mine, Swan," Killian growled as he pinned her to the wall with his arm across her throat, effectively knocking the wind out of her. "They were more than happy to see you leave Storybrooke, you brought nothing but misery." She didn't fight his words because they were the same words that she told him before they had left. "Regina's love is gone because of you, your parents nearly died because of you. You destroyed Henry's love and trust. I think you are still cursed Swan." He pressed closer, the rum he had been drinking assaulting her smell as she started seeing dots from the lack of air. "Why else would you not listen to me when I told you to just let me go?"_

_"I love you," she gasped out and he eased off of her, but there was a sneer on his lips._

_"Aye, that may be true, love, but I don't love you. You just belong to me."_

Emma released a strangled sob and pulled her knees to her chest, curling into a ball. He had always told her it was "tough love" and that he was trying to get her over her grief. I was so stupid, Emma thought as the sobs and tears continued to come. She felt as if she were being squeezed too tight, that something had to break soon or else she would die from the pain. The easiest way she could manage was to actually break something, and so with a scream she grabbed the first thing she could see, the mug of coffee that Regina had left her, and blindly chucked it, hitting a mirror.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Thanks again to everyone reading this story. I really appreciate the follows/favorites/reviews that are being left. This is getting slightly harder to write because I just want to have Regina come out screaming "I LOVE YOU, YOU STUPID IDIOT!" and fireball Hook in the ass, but I also want to go into a softer, lovey-dovey side as well. Oh well. Continue with the reviews and support, I greatly appreciate it!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: ATTEMPTED SUICIDE

Regina was making her way down the stairs absently, her mind still on Emma upstairs. The past week since they had gotten home hadn't been the easiest. Emma jumped at the sound of something falling or a raised voice and always had a scared look in her eye. Regina even tried to have her help with the garden outside, but the farthest she was able to coax Emma out was to sit on the chair on the patio while she tended to the plants. Emma also wasn't eating much yet. Regina and Henry both had to beg her to eat when it was dinner time, if they could get her out of the bedroom, and even then Emma had two or three bites before pushing the food around.

Nights were sometimes the worst. Regina would hold Emma when she woke up from nightmares, most of the time screaming herself awake, until the blonde settled down into a less fitful sleep. The nights of minimal sleep were starting to wear on Regina, but she swore that she would bear it if it meant helping Emma. Regina had just made it to the bottom of the stairs, intent on having her third cup of coffee this morning, when she heard the scream and glass shattering.

"Emma," Regina muttered, turning around and bolting back up the stairs and to the bedroom where she saw Emma hunched into a ball on the floor, her vanity mirror in shards. "Emma, are you all right?" Regina asked as she knelt down in front of the sobbing blonde.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Emma screamed, pulling away from Regina and landing on her behind as she rocked away.

"Emma, it's okay, you're safe," Regina tried to reassure the blonde, but Emma violently shook her head as she held it in her hands. "Yes, you are, you are safe at home in Storybrooke, with Henry and myself."

"I deserved it," Emma muttered, rocking back and forth between the sobs. Regina frowned as she tried to scoot closer. "I deserve the pain."

"No, Emma, you don't deserve pain," Regina tried again to reach out for her but Emma jerked away again.

I hurt you," Emma sobbed, looking at Regina with tear-reddened eyes. "I hurt Henry. I'm the reason Robin is dead!" Regina watched her with sad eyes, her heart panging a bit at the mention of Robin. She had indeed loved the man, but after Henry's revelation right before they rescued Emma everything had made more sense to her. "I don't deserve any of this." Regina didn't expect it when Emma lunged past her and grabbed a large piece of the broken mirror, dragging it down her arm.

"Emma!" Regina exclaimed as bright red blood began to pour from the fresh wound. Regina magicked all of the broken glass, including the piece that Emma was trying to use on her other arm now, away and grabbed the bleeding limb.

"Let go of me!" Emma cried as Regina channeled her magic to heal the wound.

"No, I'm not letting you do this Emma," Regina said firmly as she watched the skin magically stitch itself together again, holding firmly onto the limb so Emma couldn't pull away before she was done.

"Please," Emma begged as fresh sobs came out. Regina lifted her chin so she could look into the dull emerald eyes.

"Emma Swan, I am not letting you kill yourself. You will not die on me," Regina fiercely told her. "I am not going to watch as another person I love dies in front of me, do you hear me?" Emma gave her a weak nod before she pulled the blonde into her arms and held her close. "You are not the reason Robin is dead Emma, Hades is. Robin gave his life to save mine. That was his choice, not yours."

"But-" Emma started to protest but Regina hushed her.

"No buts. I need you to listen to me Emma, and listen to me well, can you do that?" Emma nodded, her hand fisting up Regina's shirt while the brunette held her. "I found out recently that Robin was destined to die when we were in Camelot. I made the selfish choice by asking you to save him then. What we did, what I did, only delayed the inevitable. His death was not your fault. I need you to stop blaming yourself."

"I don't know if I can," Emma said quietly, her breath still sporadic from all of the sobbing.

"I'll help you, Precioca. Let me help you."

The room was quiet as Regina continued to hold Emma as her breathing evened out. "Why are you wanting to help me?" Emma asked as she was finally fully calmed by Regina's fingers running through her hair. "After all I did to wrong you-"

"Hush, Emma, you didn't harm me," Regina gently scolded. "We all made our own choices these past few years, but you have always proven that you would always save me. I think it's time I save you, like you had asked me to." Emma hummed as she snuggled closer into Regina, and Regina reveled in the warm feelings she was having with Emma this close. When the blonde's breaths became deeper Regina looked down and saw that the blonde had passed out on her. She pulled on her magic and used it to put Emma into the bed before raising to her feet to tuck her in. "Sleep well, my love," Regina whispered as she tucked the blankets around Emma before kissing her forehead and heading back downstairs.

Henry met her at the foot of the stairs, a worried look upon his features. "Is she okay Mom?" he asked. He had heard the glass break upstairs from the kitchen and saw his mother's back when she had raced back up the stairs.

"She's fine for now Henry," Regina assured him. "She's asleep for now. Can you keep an eye out for her while I take a walk?"

"Sure," Henry agreed quickly, seeing the exhaustion on Regina's face. He knew that she had kept herself in the house a lot lately to look after Emma while he went to school and football practices. "Will you be home to come to the game?"

Regina paused for a second as she tried to remember. "That's tonight?" she asked, looking at him. Henry nodded. "I'll be home before you have to leave, but I'm not sure if we'll make it to the game my Prince."

Henry shrugged, his face sympathetic. "I kind of guessed that. Least we can ask her is if she wants to go. If not, it's okay too." Regina nodded and smiled at him.

"I'll be back in a little bit." She kissed his cheek before leaving. "If you need me, call me."

**SQSQSQSQ**

The bell rang as the door opened at Granny's diner, letting everyone know a new person walked in. Regina glanced up from her coffee in the corner booth at the newcomer, a small smile adorning her features as the person sat down.

"How is she Regina?" Snow asked worriedly.

"It's only been a week Snow," Regina sighed as Granny came over and set a cup of hot chocolate with cinnamon in front of Snow White. Both women nodded thanks at Granny as she walked away to take care of other customers. "She's going through a lot."

"David and I are worried about her though," Snow said, fidgeting with the rim of the cup. "With how Henry described how you two found her, I'm lucky I was able to stop him from going to New York to kill Hook himself."

"David would have had to get in line," Regina grumbled, taking another sip of the dark liquid fueling her system. Snow quirked an eyebrow at her.

"I'm surprised the Evil Queen didn't rear her head yet." Both women chuckled lightly.

"Trust me, I was tempted. But my first concern was getting her to safety. Henry did a good job of knocking him out though."

Snow gasped. "Henry?!"

Regina nodded. "The sword lessons David and Henry have been doing have been paying off, I must say. He gave the one-handed pirate a mean upper cut and a blow to the temple." Snow shook her head as she sipped her cocoa. They were silent for a few moments before Regina spoke up again. "I don't know exactly what Henry told you, but he hurt her bad, Snow." She lifted her chocolate eyes to look into green ones so much like a pair she loved to stare into. "She tried to kill herself earlier." Snow gasped, her eyes becoming wide like saucers.

"What?"

"She's harboring a lot of guilt right now. I stopped her, but this isn't going to go away overnight. This is going to take time to help her recover from whatever the hell it was he did." Snow reached forward and placed her hand on Regina's.

"What do you need from us Regina?" Snow asked.

Regina took a deep breath before speaking. "Time. I need to step down from being Mayor. Emma has to be my number one priority right now. Henry as well, but he understands what's going on."

"Done." Snow's voice sounded so final it caught Regina a little off guard. "I can handle being Mayor. David's more than happy to be the Sherriff. If you stepping down is what it's going to take to make Emma better, then don't worry about anything."

"Oh, I am going to worry with you being in charge," Regina chuckled with a smirk. Snow just rolled her eyes. "If you need any help though…" Regina added with a bit more serious tone.

"I may come to you with advice from time to time, but I don't want to distract you from Emma. Have you shown her the pages yet?"

"No." Snow's brow lifted. "She's still too fragile to be shown them. I did however let her know that Robin's death wasn't her fault." Snow nodded. Regina finished her coffee and stood up. "I should be getting back. Emma was asleep when I left but I don't want to leave Henry alone for too long in case she wakes up from a nightmare again."

"Thank you, Regina," Snow said, tears pricking her eyes. "Thank you for taking care of our girl." Regina put a hand on her shoulder.

"I love her, Snow. I'll always take care of her."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, I know it's been a few days. I went over it a few times but I can't seem to edit it any more. I'm not happy with this chapter, but I will let the reviews decide if it is good or not.

 

When Emma woke up she took a few minutes to open her eyes. She no longer heard the soft _thump-thump_ of Regina's heartbeat, the one thing that had lulled her to sleep after her attempt to slash her wrists. She cracked one eye open and looked at said wrists, seeing no evidence of the attempt. _It's because she saved you,_ a little voice in her head said. Emma felt both happy and sad at the same time. Regina was being so good to her, taking care of her, and she nearly killed herself in front of the brunette.

_"You always push those you love away, Swan," Killian said after their first little spat in the new apartment. He took her softly into his arms. "Don't push me away. I'll be here for you."_

Emma sighed at the memory of her boyfriend being a loving, caring man. _When did that change?_ she asked herself. He had promised to be there, to take care of her. Instead he had beat her, insulted her, made her feel useless. _But he said he loved me…_

_If he loved you at all he wouldn't have hurt you,_ another voice in her head said, sounding much like Regina's. Emma sighed as she looked at the curtained window. She could tell it was bright out, but without looking at a clock she had no clue what time it could be. She attempted to lift her head to look at the clock on Regina's side of the bed but gave up as her body refused to cooperate. She felt so exhausted and achy all over.

"I see you decided to open your eyes," Regina's voice floated to her ears as the sound of footfalls neared the bed. Emma looked up at Regina's soft smile and felt a pang of regret for earlier.

"Regina, I-"

"If you are going to say you're sorry," Regina cut her off, sitting down on the edge of the bed, "don't. I know you've been through a lot, and something pushed you to do what you did. I don't like it, but at least I was here to stop you from doing more harm." Emma looked away as she pulled herself into a sitting position.

"Thank you," she muttered, shyly darting her eyes to Regina, who simply nodded at her. The two held each other's gaze before Regina looked down at her folded hands.

"Henry has a football game tonight, he was wondering if you wanted to go." Brown orbs darted to green as she expectantly awaited an answer. Emma tensed at the thought of going out in public. In New York, Killian had only let her go out to the store if they were desperate for either food or toilet paper. Otherwise he had her shut in the apartment cleaning or something else. Even then when she went out, no one knew her so she could get away with baggy clothes and a big pair of sunglasses. Here in Storybrooke, everyone knew her.

She knew she didn't look like her regular self. Her hair was shorter than she cared to have it but she cut it that way after Hook burned part of it one drunken night. She was extremely skinny due to not only was most of their food money going towards the drugs he was dealing, but because he wouldn't let her eat like she used to.

_"You're too fat lass," Killian's "associate" commented as Emma served both him and Killian their drinks. The man pinched her ass and she yelped in shock as both men laughed. "Jones, why are you letting your lass get fat on ye?"_

_"She's not that bad Thomas," Killian commented as he smirked and drank his rum._

_"Naw, I guess not," the man said as he eyed Emma up. "She does have a good ass. Mind if I have a go with her sometime?"_

_"Excuse me?" Emma spat. "I am not some sort of goods that can be passed around."_

_"Jones, seems like yer wench decided to try speaking when not spoken to," the man growled in a bored tone. Killian rose to his feet and slapped her across the face._

_"Killian," she gasped, her hand resting on the stinging cheek. It wasn't the first time she saw the cold look in his eyes, and she guessed it wouldn't be the last._

_"You'll keep your mouth shut, Swan," he growled, "and lose the weight if you know what's good for you."_

_As Emma turned to walk back to the kitchen she watched the man give her a malicious smirk. "Good job, Jones. Keep the bitch in line."_

"Emma?" Regina's worried voice pulled to her as she came out of the memory. Her eyes found the worried browns as she blinked back to herself. "Where'd you go on me?"

"Nowhere," Emma quietly answered, trying to make herself invisible in the bed.

"We don't have to go Emma, Henry understands." Emma nodded. She heard Regina sigh and felt the bed dip a little more as Regina moved to lean against the headboard next to her. Emma watched as the brunette just sat and watched her carefully. They sat that way for a while before Regina spoke up again. "Do you want to go downstairs and watch a movie?" Emma shrugged, not really caring. She was trying hard not to let her mind overwhelm her. "I think Henry has the whole Avengers series you two love. Or we could just sit up here in bed. I'm not that picky."

"Don't you have a town to run?" Emma asked quietly. She wasn't meaning to be rude or ungrateful, but she was sure the Mayor's office would be falling apart without Regina at the helm.

"No, actually, I don't. Not anymore." Emma looked questioningly at her and Regina shrugged, a small sweet smile adorning her lips as she gazed at Emma. "I have more important things to do with my time."

"You shouldn't waste your time on me," Emma grumbled. "I'm just a distraction."

"You're not a distraction Emma, you're family." Regina frowned at her. She watched as the blonde squeezed her eyes shut. "Emma, talk to me, please."

"Why?" Emma asked. "Why are you trying to help me?" She opened her eyes and looked at Regina, tears threatening to spill as she stared at Regina's confused expression. "Why did you have to follow me to the Underworld? Why did you come get me from New York? Why are you here with me now instead of doing your job as mayor?"

Regina's eyes softened as she stared at Emma, contemplating if she should just blurt out the truth or try to ease her into it. "Well for one, I'm no longer mayor," she answered the easiest question first. "I stepped down from the office." Emma huffed at the answer, and she thought _to hell with it, I'm just going to tell her_. "To answer the other two questions, it's simply because I wanted to, because I love you." She noticed Emma wince at the statement and felt as if she just messed the whole situation up.

Emma squeezed her eyes shut at Regina's confession. _She loves me?_ She questioned in her head. _How can she love me? I ruined her happiness._ Tears poured from her eyes as her guilt raged on inside her.

"Emma, say something, please?" Emma heard her ask so quietly she wasn't sure if it was truly Regina asking or a voice inside her head. She opened her eyes to see chocolate orbs desperately searching hers.

"You can't love me," Emma bit out, "No one can." Regina shook her head and wrapped her arms around Emma, causing more tears to flow out of emerald eyes.

"Emma, I do. I do love you. Henry loves you, your parents love you," Regina reassured. "No matter what that pirate had told you before, you are very much loved."

_"You can't be loved by anyone else Swan," Hook sneered as he pushed her towards their bed. She struggled to stay on her feet, but her body was already weakened from weeks of poor diet and stress. She collapsed back onto the bed as Hook loomed closer._

_"Killian, please," she pleaded, but knew it was falling on deaf ears._

_"You wanted me back from the dead, love, and now you have me." He unbuckled his trousers as he neared even closer to her. "Yet you think you can find love with someone else?"_

_"I told you, Thomas forced his way into the apartment!" she cried, but he just slapped her as his pants fell to the ground._

_"Liar," he growled, grabbing her pants with his hooked hand and ripped them off into shreds. Emma cried out when the cold metal jabbed into her thigh and pulled a gash into her. "A whore like you will take any willing cock, won't you?"_

_"Killian," she cried. He chose not to hear her as he forced himself upon her, calling her every vulgar name under the sun as she cried, too tired and weak to fight anymore._

Emma barely reacted as Regina pulled her into her arms, sobs wracking her body from the painful memories assaulting her. If it had been anyone else she knew she would have lashed out at them, possibly severely hurt them, but Regina's scent permeated her senses. She still didn't understand why Regina felt like safety and home, but at this moment it was what she needed to cling to.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey lovely readers, I am so happy that you guys are liking this story! I love seeing the reviews! You guys may hate me for this chapter, and you may feel the hurt right along with Regina and Emma. It was truly a hard chapter to write personally. I'm going to try to get the next chapter up in about a week, but I have to make an impromptu trip to Florida to help my friend rescue her son from his abusive father. I will see what I can whip up for you lovelies during that time and get it posted before I go work at Country USA in Oshkosh, WI a week after I get back home from Florida. VIVA LA SWEN! BOO ON H00K!

Regina held onto Emma as the blonde sobbed. It hurt her heart to see Emma in such a state. She placed a small kiss to the blonde's crown, stroking her fingers through the golden hair. She took a huge leap in telling Emma she loved her, even if it might have been a snap decision.

"Emma, you're okay," Regina softly said. "I've got you. You're safe." She could feel the blonde's sobs subsiding a bit as she kept her ministrations up. It wasn't always this easy for her compassionate side to come out, but around Emma and Henry it was like second nature. More so since she stopped fighting her heart about Emma. When the blonde's breaths had slowed and deepened Regina relaxed a bit. "I wish you'd talk to me," Regina muttered when she thought the blonde was asleep.

"It hurts Gina," Emma responded and Regina paused for a moment before continuing to run her fingers through the golden hair.

"What hurts Emma?" Regina asked.

"To remember," Emma whispered, shivering.

"I'm not going to force you dear," Regina told her as she pulled the blonde closer. "Just know that I'm here when you want to. You're safe with me." Emma crawled between Regina's legs and curled into the brunette's chest, reminding Regina of the times Henry would do the same when he was scared when he was younger. "I've got you Emma."

It was a few moments before the blonde spoke again. Regina was true to her word, she wasn't pushing Emma. She simply had her arms wrapped loosely around her. "I loved him," Emma stated, and the pained tone in her voice tugged at Regina's heart. "I loved him, but it was never enough. Why am I never enough?"

"You're more than just enough. He never knew how to appreciate a gift like you."

Emma snorted. "You sound like you're in love with me," she scoffed. Regina froze, slightly hurt by Emma's words but knowing she never meant to hurt her. Emma stilled, then pulled away from Regina so she could turn and look the brunette in the eyes. "You are, aren't you?" Emma questioned hesitantly. Regina's soft smile and eyes confirmed it. "When you said you love me-"

"I meant every word Emma." Regina reached for Emma's cheek and Emma instinctively nuzzled her palm. Regina wasn't sure if Emma was aware of the intimate action, but she wasn't going to stop her. "I do love you. Have for a while now." Emma's eyes widened but Regina ran her thumb gently against the cheekbone. "Before you say anything, I'm not expecting you to say it back. I just needed you to know. I love you and I'm here for you." She felt the tears hit her hand as she pulled Emma back to her chest. "I've got you now, you're safe."

Emma shook a little in Regina's arms but everything about Regina screamed "safety" and "love" and "security". She felt wanted finally, not used. They spent a while together on the bed like that before Emma spoke again. "How long?"

"How long what?" Regina asked, her fingers never stopping from playing with Emma's hair and scalp.

"Have you known that you, you know."

Regina thought for a moment before answering. "I think it was right around the time Henry ate the turnover that I started realizing it, but it wasn't until you pushed me away from the hat that it really hit me." Regina chuckled a bit. "But it wasn't until the portal that I let myself actually accept it."

"Which portal?" Emma asked.

"The one at the well bringing you and your mother back." Regina was silent for a moment as her fingers continued their ministrations. "It hurt when you and Henry had to leave because of Pan's curse, but when we were in the Enchanted Forrest, I admit I fucked up." When Emma pulled back and looked surprised at Regina, the brunette scoffed. "Don't look so shocked dear."

"You cussed, you rarely cuss."

"I also rarely admit when I'm wrong. Both have been happening a bit more since you left." Emma frowned but went back into Regina's beckoning arms. "The reason I messed up is because I tried to follow a pixie dust trail nearly thirty years old."

"You mean Robin?" Emma asked sadly.

"Yes. You see, when Tink cast the spell he would have been right for me then. But life is much like a river or stream. Once you pass something you can't go back for it. I passed on the chance to be with Robin, but when we went back and I met him, I foolishly tried to grab something I hadn't before."

"Robin was no longer your True Love," Emma whispered and Regina hummed in agreeance.

"As much as we tried, it wasn't meant to be anymore, we were too changed. And I ended up hurting those I loved more."

"I'm sorry Regina," Emma said from her snuggled position.

"Don't be Emma, it's not your fault." They sat for a little longer before Regina's phone vibrated with a text message from Henry. "Why don't we go to the kitchen and grab something to eat," Regina coaxed. Emma nodded and followed Regina downstairs. Regina was glad that Emma decided to follow her. She knew that even though the blonde was suffering the bed was no place for her to stay cooped up in. "Grilled cheese and tomato soup okay?" Regina asked as they entered the kitchen. A glance over her shoulder showed Emma nodding as she sat down at the island and Regina pulled the can of soup from the cupboard and the sandwich makings from the fridge. It was just a few minutes from when she put the sandwiches in the pan to fry and the soup in the pot to heat before she heard Emma's voice again.

"Why would he do it Regina?" she asked, and Regina turned slightly so she could look at the blonde while keeping an eye on the food. "Why would he say he loved me and then beat me and … let his friends touch me?"

Regina's blood ran fiery hot as she heard Emma's confession. She already knew the pirate had been beating her as the bruises she saw on that first night, but to hear that he disrespected her, abused her body…. She had to fight to keep the Evil Queen caged in herself. "Emma," Regina started, forgetting all about the food and turning fully to the blonde who now had her head bowed. She took a deep breath to attempt to calm herself before she spoke again. "Emma, did he rape you?" Emma didn't have to verbally answer her; the shaking shoulders, the quiet sobs and the tears hitting the countertop spoke volumes enough. Regina shook with rage. _No wonder she's so damn broken!_ Regina thought, her mind flashing back to her brief marriage to Leopold and what he would do to her.

"Gina, the food's burning," Emma quietly said but Regina didn't hear her at first. "Gina. Regina!" Regina shook her head to clear her thoughts and smelled the burning food. She quickly turned and flicked all the knobs off as she tried to control herself before she faced Emma again. The poor woman didn't deserve to see her be furious. What Regina needed to do was leave for a few minutes, but the was no way that she was going to leave Emma alone right now, especially after that confession. "I'm sorry," Emma whimpered and Regina turned around again in shock and sympathy.

"Sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry for," Regina said, rushing to wrap Emma in her arms. "This is not your fault."

"It is," Emma whimpered again, and Regina could feel that she was about to start sobbing again. "It's all my fault." Regina magicked them to the couch where she held tight to Emma, trying to assure her that it wasn't her fault while the blonde sobbed.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: LANA READS FANFICS! I THINK I'M IN HEAVEN KNOWING THIS! I do hope that if you are reading this Lana, that you actually enjoy what I am writing. I know this fic is going a bit out of order for the POV on this one, but it is what it is.**

**So, I wanted to let you wonderful readers know that my trip to Florida has not been what I had expected. Me and my friend are stuck here until the 8th so I am currently going stir crazy. If anyone is in the Kissimmee area and would like to meet, let me know!**

When Henry came home later that evening he was greeted by the sight of Emma asleep in Regina's arms on the couch. He draped a blanket over the top of them before heading into the kitchen where he was greeted with the sight of the burnt food. He sighed but cleaned it all up, tossing the sandwiches in the trash and pouring the soup down the sink. He knew that Regina wouldn't have left a mess if something hadn't happened to force her focus to another issue.

"Henry?" Regina's quiet voice called out to him as she entered the kitchen.

"Hey Mom," he greeted, giving his sleepy mother a hug. "We won the game," he boasted.

Regina crinkled her nose as she pulled away from him. "You smell like it too," she teased.

"I showered," Henry scoffed as he set the dirty dishes into the sink before heading into the fridge. "How's Ma?"

Regina sighed, watching him grab an apple and take a bite. "She's still blaming herself for everything," Regina said. "It's going to take a long time for her to recover."

"We're here for her though," Henry said around a bite of apple. "I'll quit football if I have to just to help her."

"No, I don't want you to do that," Regina argued. "Could you keep an eye on her though? I want to step out for a few minutes."

"No problem Mom," Henry said, giving her a kiss on the cheek that left her skin sticky from the juices of the apple.

**SQSQSQSQ**

Regina sat in the corner booth of Granny's, nursing a cup of coffee when the door opened, jingling the bell to inform Granny or whoever was working that someone came in.

Regina regarded her friend carefully, watching her friend as she sat down in the booth seat across from her, wondering if she was right to call her out for a late night meeting. "She opened up a little bit."

"She did?" Snow asked hopefully, and Regina could tell that the information was going to break Snow's heart. It was better to be honest though rather than hide it.

"Yes, and if that pirate steps foot into this town again I will personally kill him."

Snow was quiet for a moment after the confession as she examined Regina. "What did he do?" Regina started shaking her head but Snow placed a hand over hers. "Regina, what did he do to my daughter?" she asked firmly.

"Aside from beat and starve her?" Regina scoffed, feeling her heart break as she prepared herself to tell Snow what was said but yet not said. "He let other men touch her." Snow gasped and Regina saw a flash of anger fill the brunette's green eyes.

"He whored her out?" she asked.

"From what I could gather between sobs," Regina said, growing slightly fearful at the look forming in Snow's eyes. She knew her own Evil Queen was bad, but she still remembered how the previous author had written Snow's evil side and that side terrified Regina. She knew the potential was still there for that side to come out. Regina wouldn't openly admit it, but the dark side of Snow scared her. "Snow?" Regina asked as she looked at her friend.

"If he does step foot back across the town line he better pray he faces you first." This was the side that scared Regina.

"Snow, you can't do anything to him," Regina tried to talk to her, but the fury in Snow's eyes was fierce. "You already have a spot of darkness from Cora, and your heart was already split between you and David. You cannot handle murdering this idiot."

"But you can?" Snow scoffed, pulling her hand back and crossing her arms across her chest. "Just because you were the Evil Queen means that you are the only one that gets to commit a murder here in this town? What it comes down to is that I am protecting my daughter from someone who seriously hurt her."

"I'm not arguing that Snow," Regina said, sighing as she ran a hand over her face. "You are being a protective mother. What I am saying though is that your heart, your soul, cannot stand to take a lot of blackness. Not only that, you are Snow White, the epitome of good and light." Snow scoffed at Regina's comment. "Whether you believe me or not, you are. So many people look up to you, including your daughter. Do you really want Emma to look at you as a murderer?"

The last words seemed to snap Snow out of her anger as they sank in. She looked down at the table top for a moment before looking back at Regina. "What about you though?" she asked. "Emma loves you, you love her."

"I won't lay a finger on him until he comes after her," Regina stated. "I'm going to be by her side for a long time Snow. I'm going to do everything I can to keep her safe and protected. Emma won't see me murder because of anger, it would be because I'm protecting her."

Snow's brow furrowed. "But you want to kill him."

"I would love to let the Evil Queen loose and rip him to shreds on sight, but I'll only do that as a protective measure. I'm no longer the person I used to be."

"Thank god for that," Granny stated as she came over and filled Regina's cup. "I couldn't help but overhearing you two talking about our favorite girl," Granny stated as she looked at the two brunettes. "If you need any help protecting Emma, let me know. Ruby and Dorthy just came home from Oz not too long ago."

"Thank you Granny," Regina acknowledged with a small smile and the old wolf walked away. "See Snow? Emma is well protected, well loved in this town. No need for you to become a murderer,"

"Emma is still my daughter. I just want to protect her."

"I know. And she will be protected. I don't even know why I called you here tonight."

"Because you care about Emma, Regina."

"I didn't want her to see me angry. She already harbors so much guilt."

"It wasn't her fault though."

"I know that, but she was with that filth for nearly a year. That's a lot of mental damage done."

"You should know," Snow scoffed, then raised her hand to her mouth as her eyes widened in shock. "Oh my god Regina, I'm so sorry!"

"No, you're right. I would know. I still remember most of the evils I did as the Evil Queen. Breaking someone mentally would sometimes be something I would do. Which is why I am trying to not let Emma see me get angry at what he did to her."

"Okay," Snow conceded. "I trust you." She turned her head and looked out the window at the darkened sky. "It's late. We should both go home."

"Thank you for meeting with me at this hour Snow," Regina said and Snow smiled at her.

"You are my friend Regina. You're in love with my daughter and are trying everything you can to keep her safe. Of course I'd meet with you at any hour."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I am so sorry to my readers about the long wait for an update, but I finally got it! TW: Implied rape, abuse, and cop hatred. No, I do not hate cops, I am really good friends with a few. But the group that Captain Abuser is with absolutely loathe them. Also, at the end of this chapter, Henry is a little shit (but still a good kid). Thank you to everyone loving this story with follows, favorites, and reviews!**

When Emma woke up it took her a second to realize she was laying on the couch with a blanket over herself. Last thing she had remembered was crying herself to sleep on the brunette's shoulder. Emma sat up slowly while looking around to see if she could find the brunette anywhere.

"Hey Mom," Henry greeted as he walked into the room carrying a glass of water and a book.

"Hey Hen," Emma greeted, her voice rough from sleep. "Where's your Mom?"

"She went for a walk," he answered and handed her the water. "She should be back soon." Emma took the water and sipped it carefully. She saw Henry sit down on the chair to her right from the corner of her eye and sighed as she set the glass down on the table in front of her.

"Henry," Emma started, wanting to ask where Regina went but not wanting to sound needy of the brunette. She decided to switch tactics instead. "What time is it?"

"Close to nine," he answered, and Emma nodded as she noted he was opening up what appeared to be his fairytale book.

"What are you working on kid?" she asked. Henry cast a guarded glance at her.

"I'm not sure you're ready," he vaguely stated.

_He doesn't trust you_ , her mind spewed to her. _No one trusts you._ "Okay then," she relented, pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders. Henry sighed as he watched his mother.

"It's not that I don't want to Ma," he said. "It's just… it's your life story." Emma eyed him fearfully at that confession.

"What do you mean it's my life story?" she asked carefully.

Henry was hesitantly about to answer when Regina came into the door. "Emma, you're up," she acknowledged as she entered the living room.

"Yeah, and Henry was telling me about the book he has," Emma said, never taking her eyes off the boy. Henry looked up to Regina for a bit of guidance.

"Is that the book we discussed earlier?" Regina asked him.

"Yeah, but Mom, it updated," Henry replied, ignoring Emma. Regina's brow furrowed.

"It updated?" she asked, moving over to Henry's side. "When?"

"I don't know exactly," Henry stated as Regina took the book from him. Emma felt a stab of jealousy over the fact that Henry willingly let Regina take the book but she couldn't.

Regina took a few moments to scan the pages, her brow furrowing even more, before she looked at Emma. "What happened to the Bug, Emma?" she asked carefully, watching as Emma tensed up.

"It's gone," she muttered, her eyes darting away from Regina and Henry.

"How?" Henry asked, watching his blonde mother curl into herself. Neither brunette wanted to take what was written as truth, but the way Emma was acting it was quickly coming apparent.

"What did he do to you Emma?" Regina quietly asked as she sat down near Emma. Green eyes met brown and Emma caved into the promise of security she saw in their depths.

"It, um, it was a-about two months after we got to New York…"

_Killian and his new "crew" were over for a poker night while Emma was away bartending. He never really mentioned exactly what the crew did besides distribution, and Emma never really asked more about the job._

_"I'll raise you another Twenty Jones," Buck, the "crew boss" said against Killian's bet. The other three men had already folded and were finishing off their beers. The former pirate had been trying to bluff most of his hands all night, but with little success. He had already bet all the cash he could find laying around. He felt confident in this hand though: three aces. "Ye gonna fold mate, or are ye gonna call?" Buck taunted._

_"Oh, hey Killian," Emma greeted as she came in from her shift and the pirate smirked._

_"One night with my lass," Killian bet, and Buck smirked. "I call."_

_"All right." Buck laid his cards down on the table along with Killian's and the pirate groaned at the loss, for Buck had a full house. Buck was on his feet in an instant and grabbed Emma. "Come 'ere, you."_

_"What the-?" Emma protested, smacking Buck's hands away. "Get off me!"_

_"Ah, but I won ye fair an' square lass," Buck lamented, trying to grab after her again._

_"What? I'm not something to be won in a poker game," Emma scolded as she slapped his hands away again. "Don't touch me. If I was still a sheriff I'd have you in cuffs right now."_

_Buck's features hardened at the mention of her being a former cop. Killian saw the murderous glint in Buck's eye and stepped in. "You like classic cars, right Buck?" he asked. The man's gaze shifted to the former pirate._

_"Aye," he acknowledged. Killian nodded, snatched the car keys from Emma's hand, and gave them to Buck._

_"Here then, take our car instead," Killian insisted._

_"Killian," Emma hissed at him, feeling disgusted as Buck's eyes roamed hungrily over her body._

_"I'll accept it, this time," Buck grunted, shifting his eyes back to the former pirate. "Next time, though, I'm taking my dues. I'd also show exactly how to respect me authority properly." The other men rose to leave as Emma gawked at them and their mindset that women were merely property. "Oh, and Killian, let yer lass know what we think of cops," Buck ordered as he pulled the door shut._

_"Killian-" Emma started to say but the pirate was already furious. He pinned her to the wall by her neck and Emma gasped and clawed at his hand._

_"Don't you EVER embarrass me like that again Swan," he growled. He pressed his body hard against hers, his mouth next to her ear. "Everyone else is ashamed to be near you but me. Do you really want to lose me too, Swan?" Emma shook her head no as tears sprung to her eyes._

"That night, he, um, he-he played on my fears and guilts," Emma sniffed, trying to hold back the tears. "Said that the Bug was a part of me I had to let go because I was his now."

"Emma," Regina whispered, the pain from hearing and reading how Emma was slowly stripped from herself bleeding into her voice.

"It was the last thing I had that really reminded me of who I was," she finally cried. Regina instinctively moved to hold Emma in her arms, and Emma folded into her chest.

"You were never meant to be with him Mom," stated Henry.

"What?" Emma looked at Henry in confusion while Regina sent him a questioning look.

"Hook was never your True Love."


	7. Chapter 7

"What do you mean he was never my True Love?" Emma cried. "What about what we went through in the underworld?"

"Ma, that wasn't a test of True Love between you two," Henry said. Regina was wondering now if telling Emma about the truth of everything was a good idea. Obviously their son thought so, but he was also a teenager.

"Henry," Regina quietly tried to warn but he remained defiant and stared at Emma.

"You are made of True Love, it flows through you," he continued as if Regina wasn't even there. "Therefore, the test of True Love would pass your heart every time. You only tested your heart though."

By now Emma's tears subsided and she looked at Henry in shock. "How do you know that?"

Henry held up the book, showing the cover. _The Life of Savior Swan_ was emblazoned in gold leaf on the cover. "This book is your life story so far. I never knew half of what you went through until it started writing itself." At that information Emma blanched and nearly fell if it wasn't for Regina rushing forward to catch her. "Ma, Hook couldn't share your heart because he never was your True Love. Only your True Love can take your heart from your chest because of the magic protecting it." Henry looked pointedly at her as the information sank in.

Emma's eyes grew wide as she looked up into Regina's warm loving chocolate orbs. "You removed my heart," Emma breathed. Regina nodded. "How-?"

"The Queen always needs her Knight Ma," Henry said matter-of-factly. "Just because Mom had been dubbed the Evil Queen, doesn't mean she hasn't repented for those ways and changed. You've seen it, I've seen it, Grandma's seen it."

"You're my True Love?" Emma breathed, still looking at Regina. The brunette looked at the blonde with a smile.

"It's about time we stop fighting it," Regina said.

Emma started shaking her head as the tears started anew. "No, it can't be. I'm too broken."

"Emma, dear, look at me," Regina said, letting one hand cup her cheek until green eyes looked into her own. "You are not too broken. A little rough around the edges, maybe, but so am I. I love you. I'm not going to leave you." Emma tried to read if Regina was lying, but her gut told her that everything Regina said was absolute truth. A little voice told her to just kiss her and so she did. Lips mashed together so suddenly but Regina held Emma close even as the pulse of magic flew out from them.

As Regina kissed Emma it felt like a puzzle piece was finally set in place in her heart and she didn't want to lose this feeling ever. Love was not weakness like she had always been lead to believe. Love was strength. It was completion. She now understood all of the things that Snow and David had talked about all the time. When air became a necessity Emma pulled back but rested her forehead on Regina's. "I love you too," Emma whispered, her hand wrapped around the back of Regina's neck. "I'm scared Regina."

"Why?" Regina asked, her hand running up and down Emma's arm.

"I feel like I'm going to wake up at any moment and this will all be a dream."

"It's not a dream Ma," Henry said, garnering them both to turn towards their son. He was beaming like a thousand-watt bulb as he stared at the book in his lap then up at them. "This is real." He turned the book around to show them that their moment had been immortalized on the pages. Both women let out a laugh as they turned back to each other and kissed again, though this time was brief before Emma tucked her head under Regina's chin and Regina held her close and protectively.

"You are safe, and you are loved," Regina said quietly, holding the Savior close. "I promise to protect you for as long as you will have me."

"Forever?" Emma asked.

"Forever."

**SQSQSQ**

Unknown to the residents of Storybrooke, Killian Jones had been on his way back to the little Maine town when he felt the pulse of magic that nearly drove him off the road. The pirate was full of rage that Emma had gotten away from him, and even more so that he hadn't been her True Love. He pulled over the car he was driving and got out to scream.

"If I can't have her, no one can," he screamed out into the darkness, red magic floating unknowingly in his eyes as he got back into his vehicle and continued to drive on with his rage.

**A/N: There ya go folks. The end of Break Down. I know, I know, I set myself up to have a sequel. Not exactly sure how that will go since I still have to get through TNS. I thought it was a sweet moment for our lovely couple. And what about Hook, eh? A little DO magic still about him, we see. I can't wait to try to get going on a sequel. Maybe Evil Snow will rear her head instead of the EQ, what do you guys think? Love all of you lovely readers and reviewers. Until next time folks!**


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